Monday, February 28, 2011

More politician rap

Reposted a bunch in a thread and then added on a lot more.  Not all of them are mine.  Available in the 4chanarchive at the moment under the Unreviewed section.  See post 312697672 in the archive.  If that ever goes down (like if it gets reviewed and turned down), then I'll repost the whole thread here.  Hell, I might repost the whole thread here at some point anyways just for the fun of it.  

I aim to try and do another story tonight once I finish my work (will likely start around 1AM EST).  See if anyone feels like actually participating in this one tonight... we'll see.  Not sure, maybe people are getting tired of Choose Your Own Story Adventure; alternatively, people could still like the concept and I am having difficulty with originality at the moment.  Either one is possible.

Politician raps

Tried to write a story.  No one was interested in responding.  Decided to write politician raps instead.  Results below...


File : 1298881884.jpg-(73 KB, 400x350, Obama-told-me-we-were-good-now-But-every(...).jpg)
  Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:31:24 No.312595973 
My name is Barack
As for me I ain't no fuckin' hawk
I was the Democratic pick
So now you all can suck my dick
Because I'm the fucking Pres
Don't matter what nobody says
I'm a one man supreme court
The white house is my fucking fort
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:34:28 No.312596371
     File1298882068.jpg-(14 KB, 450x297, Ron Paul Pic.jpg)

I'm yo' man Ron Paul
To kill the Fed' is my life call
I hate socialism, blacks and a lotta other shit
Some call me a doctor, cuz I got a lotta wit
I'm a devestatin' player
In the game of politics
And if you want to fuck with us
My Reserve audit kill yo' buzz
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:34:41 No.312596392
and im trying to be right wing for republican votes yet they wont vote for me, and now that democrats hate me im gonna lose to Sarah Palin
>>            Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:38:34 No.312596879
     File1298882314.jpg-(24 KB, 302x385, Sarah-Palin-open-mouth.jpg)

Sarah Palin in the house!
What what?
Sarah Palin in the house?
What what?

Sarah Palin here, in this motherfuckin' house
I'll shoot yo' ass like a fuckin' sage grouse
From Alaska, ya'll, where we carry big guns
Down home and shit, with our many great puns
Don't underestimate me, just 'cuz I'm a woman
Was a guv'ner, I ain't just about the cookin'
I know you all saw me shoot that moose
And come 2012, I'll cook donkey caboose
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:44:30 No.312597620
     File1298882670.jpg-(27 KB, 320x261, NancyPelosi.jpg)

Nancy Pelosi here, and I'm scary as shit
Face stretched so tight like a wax person kit
Terrify yo' children if I come in the night
Scare Republicans to death with the power of fright
I'll tax yo' chair till you can't sit down
Then I'll tax yo shoes till yo' just hoppin' around
Do battle with the 'Publicans the rest of my life
Come into the House always carryin' my knife

Setbacks, setbacks, we suffered one or two
But when my knife is in yo' back it be the last one for you
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:45:31 No.312597753
ITT: We rap as if we are political leaders
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:49:18 No.312598255
     File1298882958.jpg-(2 KB, 94x127, alexjones.jpg)

ALEX JONES HERE,
I WAGREBAOGGLE THE HERP DERP
SHOOP DA SHIP SHAP DOOP
FEMA CONCENTRATION CAMPS
NEW WORLD ORDER HERPADERPOLIS
NORTH AMERICAN UNION
SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING
OVER 9000 WINGWANGS
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:49:33 No.312598291
Skrippity Skrippity
Skripp Skrapp Skrope
Waddah mellums
Waddah mellums
smoke dat dope
sheuhhh muh fukkuh
muh fukkuh sheuhh sheuhh
Lawk uh muh fuuuuuhkuh
warrrrrr'd to ya mawmz yaw
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:50:42 No.312598441
     File1298883042.jpg-(112 KB, 460x300, bush460[1].jpg)

Hi, I'm, uh, George bush and I, uh can't rap.
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:50:43 No.312598444
     File1298883043.jpg-(18 KB, 300x255, Moammar-Gaddafi.jpg)

Gadafi, Gadafi, yeah, that's my fucking name
I rule this whole place, although some say that I'm insane

Yeah I'm crazy as fuck
So don't try your luck

I got African mercs
Bombin' the civil works

I'll fuckin' destroy you, if you come after me
A million barrels a day, that I'll pump into the sea

Some bring it Barack, you fucking monkey whore
With four dollar gas, yo' administration on the floor

I hold all the fuckin' power
And you don't hold shit

Just fuckin' walk away
'Fore you get yo ass clipped
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:51:58 No.312598621
     File1298883118.jpg-(36 KB, 450x516, MOAR.jpg)


>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:52:46 No.312598728
>>312598621

Request a leader
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:53:48 No.312598882
     File1298883228.png-(8 KB, 493x402, 1295464697139.png)

>>312595973
ears.......are........strange
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:55:12 No.312599083
>>312598882

I think that's the point...
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:56:39 No.312599277
>>312598444

Trips, and VOCAROO

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vQ2Ptu73i4xyyuk8l
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:57:15 No.312599369
>>312599083
Of?
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)03:57:53 No.312599436
>>312599369

Of the picture. That she has huge fucking ears.
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:00:10 No.312599713
>>312599436
They aren't huge, just really low.....weird. ha
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:01:58 No.312599932
     File1298883718.jpg-(11 KB, 350x334, Hosni_Mubarak_Biography.jpg)

I'm Hosni Mubarak and I'm here to say
That every fucking protester is gonna' pay
When the Brotherhood comes knockin' in your precious Freedom Square
I'll be on the beach, bitch, I won't even fuckin' care
All you women there, well you'll lose your rights
And all you men there, you'll only see your chicks at night
All you Christians there, while you're really fucked
They'll pull your churches down, and they'll pack you in a truck

You think you had it bad under my regime
The Muslim Brotherhood will give yo' ass a ream
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:02:14 No.312599958
Do Ben Bernake!
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:03:03 No.312600066
>>312599958

Alright just let me think for a bit...
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:07:12 No.312600583
     File1298884032.jpg-(8 KB, 175x175, Ben-Bernanke-001.jpg)

Shalom, motherfuckers, I'm the Ben Bernank
I use monetary policy like a fucking tank
Through the walls of your house, all this cash will drive
And somehow, somewhere, the economy will thrive
It don't really matter to me, about the price of gas
Don't really matter to me, if you can't pay to wipe yo' ass
I'll keep applyin' stimulus, still the market through the roof
Ain't no fucker out there who can tell me that I've goofed
'Cuz there ain't no oversight, on the Ben Bernank
As the top central banker, I'm the top fuckin' rank
Bitch
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:08:57 No.312600789
>>312600583

http://vocaroo.com/?media=v8VRiGoT35Kukfs4R
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:09:07 No.312600808
>>312600583
Loved it! Thanks
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:09:35 No.312600874
>>312600808

Anyone else?
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:09:49 No.312600898
She looks like her dad
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:10:19 No.312600965
>>312600898

Who knows who her dad is?
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:11:23 No.312601090
will smith dumbass
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:11:50 No.312601142
>>312601090

Oh. Heh, alright.
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:15:33 No.312601597
     File1298884533.jpg-(22 KB, 300x445, Stewart_2.2.jpg)

Move over, move over!
Jon Stewart coming through
Move over, move over!
I'm so much better than you

I'll criticize yo' ass, for not having the facts
But don't criticize me, when I pull 'em out my ass

I'm a comedian
You a politician
I can criticize you, and you gotta just listen!

I don't have to provide solutions
Bitch that's up to you
But if you don't get it right
Then I'll make you look the 'foo

I'm a hypocrite, but I got my own show
So if you come after me, I'll make you eat crow
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:16:57 No.312601768
No one else wants to write any politician raps? Just me?

Awwww :(
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:22:46 No.312602563
>>312601768
I did the alex jones herp a derp, but can't really think of anything else. I have been monitoring the thread though
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:23:47 No.312602689
     File1298885027.jpg-(22 KB, 459x599, stephen_harper1.jpg)

Stephen Harper here, and I'll make you my bitch
I keep fuckin' Liberal leaders, yeah I make them take my dick
First I fucked Paul Martin in his ugly old ass
Then I fucked Stephane Dionne, treated him like a young lass
And now I'm fucking Iggy, till he's black and blue
You just keep em fucking coming, cuz you know it's true
Barely a third of voters, send me their vote
Yet I rule this fuckin' country, our elections are a joke
So keep tryin' and tryin', to get me out
But every time you try, you know it's gonna be a rout
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:24:30 No.312602772
>>312602563

Listen to any of the recordings?
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:27:14 No.312603146
>>312602772
yeah, the Gadafi one was pretty good.
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:29:49 No.312603445
     File1298885389.jpg-(10 KB, 300x300, bush_palin.jpg)

I'm on the run
From my life
It seems that everything I did wasn't right

Invaded Iraq
That took all night
But then after that we couldn't rest

I've been on the run
My shadow weighs a ton
It doesn't make no sense to me
There were no weapons of mass destruction
There were no weapons of mass destruction
I killed a lot of our young
Billions of dollars spent on guns
And I know you all now hate me
There were no weapons of mass destruction
There were no weapons of mass destruction
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:30:41 No.312603552
     File1298885441.jpg-(11 KB, 270x355, colbert_270x355.jpg)

COLBERT IN THIS BITCH
RHYMES SO HOT YOU CANT TOUCH ME
REP ANONYMOUS SO HARD YOU'LL GET STOMPED SEE
SOME ASSHOLE TRIED TO FUCK ONE OF OUR HOMIES
WIKILEAKS HOLDIN THE FRONT LIKE TRAINED INFRANTRY
EMAIL RELEASES, AND NOW HE'S A DIVORCEE
NIGGAS PERSISTENT SO WE WIPED IPAD REMOTELY
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:30:53 No.312603566
>>312603445

Sung to the tune of "I wish I knew Natalie Portman"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyo_VAz847g
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:33:39 No.312603885
>>312603552

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vl2pNFaut7XfYTJW2

I think I fucked up your rhythm...
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:38:23 No.312604424
     File1298885903.jpg-(47 KB, 604x840, charlie_sheen.jpg)

Jingle jangle, yeah I'm Charlie Sheen
Don't worry 'bout that powder, trust me dawg, I'm clean
I'm a fucking warlock
You better keep touchin' me
I once kept a whore locked up
When she didn't touch me

I'm crazy as fuck
Don't you call me Chuck
Cuz I'm a man with a plan
With my face buried in clam

Man I get that shit up
With the goddesses here
It don't really matter
That they livin' in fear

Cuz I'm Charlie Sheen
And I'm here to fuckin' say
Don't touch drugs kids
Public service announcement, P to the S to the A
>>             Anonymous 02/28/11(Mon)04:40:34 No.312604687
>>312604424

http://vocaroo.com/?media=vQbalanY0mOJZ3w17

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Interesting

I let a girl I am sleeping with read the "Where Am I?" series.  Surprisingly, she did not seem disgusted.  I worked hard to ensure that she understood that /b/ made the decisions, not me.

Was interesting to watch someone actually read the series in person though, rather than just examining reactions online.  The other main difference of course was that she was not able to participate... the ability to participate in stories makes them a lot better in my opinion... determining the outcome of events is a lot more fun than merely observing.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Julio The Spic - No Choices

You wake up in the morning and slide out from between your sheets. You stand up and yawn, raising your hands high above your head. The sun is shining through the blinds, sending shadows dancing across your floor. 

You look in the mirror and see a 24 year-old Hispanic girl with large breasts, light skin and a plump, round ass. 
You admire your body in the mirror. You have dark, brown hair halfway down your back and it shimmers in the sunlight. 

You turn to admire your profile in the mirror, examining your tight ass. You turn back with a smile and then head over to your closet.
 

You consider what you would like to wear for the day.
 
You grab a short skirt that you have from the closet and pull it on. It barely covers your ass, and the curve of your butt is emphasized. 

You then grab a halter top and pull it on. The halter top can barely contain your large breasts, and you are showing ample cleavage. On the front of the top it says "/b/oo/b/s" in large letters.
 

You briefly consider going commando, but decide that it is too risky given the length of your skirt. You grab a pair of black panties and pull them on under the skirt.
 

You admire yourself in the mirror again. You look like a true fucking tart.
 
You decide to call your best friend, Maria, to see what is up. 

You dial her on the phone. "Yo, babe, what's going on?" you ask.

"Not much yet. Planning on rolling through your neighborhood in a few minutes with Sandy if you want to hang out today."

"What do you planned?" you respond.

She laughs. "We ain't never got shit planned, babe... maybe roll a joint, pick us up some men. Get fucking smashed. You know the shit, babe, it's Saturday!"
"Forget that shit. I'm going to find something else to do," you tell her. 

You hang up the phone and walk downstairs. You start walking through the store when your Dad calls to you from behind the counter. "You aren't going to walk around dressed like a fucking whore in the middle of the day, are you?"

You turn to me. "Shut the fuck up, Dad. I'm 24. I don't need your shit!"

"If you get fucking knocked-up dressed like a slut we're not going to raise your fucking kid!" he yells at you as you walk out the door.

You step out onto the street and look around. There are some dealers down the street from you who you know. Other than that, there is not much happening yet this morning.
You head over to the dealers that you know. There are three of them hanging out with each other, smoking while leaning on their car.
 

"Yo, baby, what's up?" the first guy, Juan, asks you.
 

"Not much, how about you?" you respond.

He looks you up and down. "Looking fucking fine today, baby. You up for some action?"

You grin at him. "What kind of action?"

"Well, the three of us have some extra weed, and there ain't much action on the corner yet this morning... want us to smoke you up, babe?"
"Fuck off. I'm not that kind of a cheap whore," you say to him. He looks at you. "Oh, you ain't that kind of cheap whore, eh? Then why you dressed like such a fucking skank?" he asks you. 

You ignore him and turn to walk away. You feel his hand grabbing at your ass and trying to lift up your skirt.
 
You feel his hand groping at your ass and you turn, striking him as hard as you can in the face. He staggers backwards and looks at you, amazed, as you stand there staring back at him. 

His friends all call out, "Ooooooooooooh." He looks back at them, obviously embarrassed.
 

"Did you just fucking hit me, you stupid fucking skank?"

He immediately goes to grab for your hair and you kick him in the knee. He grimaces and steps back again. His friends begin laughing at him, and his face turns red.
 

He looks at you angrily and then pulls his gun from the back of his pants, pointing it at you while holding it sideways, trying to appear like a fucking gangster.
 

"Get in the fucking car, bitch. No one fucking hits me and gets away with it."
"Woah, woah, alright... dude. Fucking calm the fuck down. I'll get in your fucking car," you say to him.

He nods at you as he points the gun at you.
 

You hear someone calling out from behind you, "Stop right there!"

You turn and look. It's your dad, and he's holding a shotgun, pointing it down the street at Juan.
 

Oh fuck.
 
Knowing that this cannot end well, you immediately dive for cover behind one of the vehicles parked at the side of the road. Without hesitation, Juan opens up on your dad. Not surprisingly given his ridiculous, gangster-style grip, he doesn't hit shit.

Your dad advances in the face of the gunfire and raises the shotgun to his shoulder and then fires. A slug tears into Juan's chest, and you see him drop to the ground, blood pouring from his body. Your dad may be old, but once a soldier always a soldier.
 

Juan's two friends drew their weapons immediately as soon as your dad walked out, and they begin shooting as soon as Juan goes down.
 

Your dad pumps the shotgun and advances.
 
You crouch behind the car and watch as your dad walks by you. He steps over Juan, who is lying on the ground and convulsing and coughing, blood pouring out of his mouth. You can tell that he obviously doesn't have long to live. 

You watch as your dad continues to fire, driving the two gangsters into cover. You hear him shout in rage as he advances. *Boom*, *Pump*, *Boom*, *Pump*, *Boom*, *Pump*. As you watch, one of the gang members stands and begins firing at your dad again, but your father catches him with a slug in the arm just after he gets the first shot off, and he is spun around by the shot, falling to the ground.

Your dad pumps again and pulls the trigger, but the shotgun magazine is empty. He begins going for shells in his apron, but as he does the last gang member stands, takes careful aim, and begins shooting.

Round after round is pumped into your father's chest, and he goes staggering back, trips over Juan, and then falls to the ground in a pool of blood.
Seeing that it is all over for your side, you dodge out from the car and begin running down the street away from the last gang member. "Come the fuck back here, you stupid fucking bitch!" he hells at you as you run.

You don't look back. You know his face. Julio, who used to come to your birthday parties as a kid, just shot your father to death in the street over a scrap.
 

You keep running, turn the corner by your father's shop, and keep going down the street. You keep running until your lungs burn and you can't run any further. Hot tears are pouring down your face.
 
"Maria," you whisper into the phone. "You need to come pick me up. No, no, not from my house. I am at the corner near the flower shop. No... just, just come right away. I need your help right away."

You lean against the wall, tears pouring down your face and onto your halter top. You hear sirens a few blocks away. At least someone called the cops to take your father's body away...

A couple minutes later Maria arrives with your friend Sandy in the car. You jump in the back right away.
"Julio just killed my dad... and all over some stupid fucking fight! How the fuck am I going to tell my brother?"

Maria looks back at you. "What? Your father? He killed your father?"

"Yeah, and my dad killed Juan and one other guy I don't know in the process... it was brutal."

Maria looks back at you in shock. "What the fuck are you going to do now, baby? If you were a witness the gang is going to be out to get you..."

You hadn't considered that.
"You need to take me to see my brother at work. He will know what to do," you say to Maria. 

She nods back at you. Sandy looks back at you. "What is your brother going to do?" she asks you.

"How should I know?" you respond tearfully. "I just got my dad killed... maybe he will fucking kill me! I don't know."

Sandy nods and reaches back to caress your arm. "It's alright, baby. You'll be okay." You nod at her and sniffle. It's not going to fucking be okay. Your dad is dead.
 

You arrive at the welding shop where your brother works and you all get out of the car.
 

You walk towards the shop and one of the guys working sees you and calls out towards your brother. Dave walks out from the shop. Your father didn't want you to have Hispanic names.
 

He looks at you crying and he immediately rushes over to you. "What's wrong, baby, what happened?"
"I just got our dad killed because I was dressed like a whore... Julio fucking killed him!"

Dave looks at you. You feel the sting of the back of his hand against your face. You gasp and stagger back, but then his arms are wrapped around you.
 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to do that... but our fucking father..."

He looks up at the sky and shouts, "I'm going to fucking kill that slimy piece of shit!"

Everyone stares at him as tears stream down his face. He looks back at you, "I have to hide you. It won't go well if you are around when I kill them all."
"Okay. Where are you going to take me to hide?" you ask him.

He looks back at Maria and Sandy. "We will go to their house. Maria and Sandy, you two lead the way and I'll follow with my sister."

Maria nods and jumps back into her car. Sandy looks somewhat reluctant, but she follows and gets in the car beside Maria.
 

Dave pulls you by the hand and throws you into the passenger seat of his car, an old Camaro.

Dave follows Maria as she pulls out of the lot and into the street. Dave begins to pull out beside her, when his car is broadsided by another vehicle. You are slammed into the passenger side window and you close your eyes for a second.

When you open them you hear gunfire. Dave has pulled his handgun from the glove compartment and is shooting at the men who hit you with their vehicle. One of them has got out of the car and is shooting at you.
You get out of the car and begin to run for it. You look back to see that your brother has been hit in the shoulder, but one of the gangsters is down as well. You will have your whole family dead before the day is out, you briefly think to yourself. Maria stopped her car after the accident, and you see Sandy throw the back door open for you. You jump into the back of the car, and Maria hits the gas.

Maria turns back and looks at you. "What the fuck do we do now?" she screams at you.
 

"You are going to get everyone fucking killed!" Sandy shouts as well.

You begin crying as well. You are already out of sight of the gunfight, but you can feel in your heart that there is no way your brother decided.
"We need to find a way to get weapons. Once you get me some guns, I'll do the rest of it myself," you say to Maria. 

She looks at you. "You're going to take on a whole fucking gang by yourself? There's no fucking..."

You cut her off, "Shut the fuck up! They just fucking killed my brother! If I wanted your fucking input I would ask for it, bitch. Now take me to your fucking house so I can make some fucking calls." Maria just nods and turns back to driving.

She pulls up cautiously to her house. Everyone knows that the two of you are friends.
"Alright, park the car in the back lane so that no one will know you are home and then I will decide what I am going to do next," you tell Maria. She turns her car into the back lane and pulls up behind her house. The four of you get out of the car and Maria unlocks the back door. 

Your hands are shaking, but you tighten them into fists and look at the two of them. "You don't have to fucking help me, but don't get in my way. Those fuckers just killed my whole family and everyone I love. If you don't want to help, I don't mind. But I swear to fuck, I will kill anyone who gets in my way."

They both look at you and nod silently. Fucking good.
"Alright, we need to plan, but first I need a fucking drink," you say to the girls. Sandy finally grins. If there is one thing that slut can do it's drink. You flips her blonde hair over her shoulder. "If there's one thing I can do, it's drink," she says to you.

Maria looks over at her. "Yeah, and suck a lot of fucking cock..."

Sandy looks at her and the three of you begin giggling. You feel the tears drying on your face. You head over to the fridge and three of you each grab a beer. You plop down on the couch beside them and you all toast. "To my family," you say. "Your family," they respond. You guzzle down your beer.
You look at the two of them. "I don't need one fucking drink, I need like 15." 

Maria and Sandy both smile and laugh. You head back to the fridge. Maria pulls out lemons, and you grab the tequila from the counter. Sandy lays out three shot glasses.

"To family!" you all shout.
 

You begin pounding shot after shot. You feel like you can't stop, and you want to drown in the burning feeling of the liquor as it pours down your throat.
 

You try to pour more from the bottle, but there is nothing left. You look over at Maria, and she has flopped down on the floor beside you. She is looking up at your through her curly hair and crying. Sandy has her arm on your shoulder and is trying to sing some song, her words slurring together.
You turn to Sandy, whose head is resting on your shoulder. You look over at Maria, whose eyes are beginning to close on the ground beside you. You tilt Sandy's lips towards yours. She looks up at you, surprise in her eyes, but she doesn't stop you. 

You begin to kiss her, and she immediately responds by slipping her tongue inside your mouth sloppily. Her hands move down to your ass and begin to grope you through your skirt. You grab onto her waist and you pull her over the passed out Maria and into Maria's bedroom.

Sandy pushes you down onto the bed drunkenly and then jumps onto you, her lips covering your chest with kisses. "Mmmmm, I love your fucking boobs," Sandy says to you.
 

Her hands slide up under your halter top and push it up over your large breasts. Suddenly her lips are against your large nipples, her tongue sliding back and forth against them. You feel them hardening against your lips.
 
Sandy continues to lick and suck at your nipples, and then pulls her shirt up and over her head. She's thin, and her nipples are a bright pink against her white body. She then begins struggling to get her jeans off her legs. You laugh at her as she finally manages to drunkenly pull them off.

She looks at you and giggles. "What are you looking at, bitch? Huh? Never seen a girl struggle to get out of her panties before?"

She laughs and pushes you back onto your back. She kisses you again, and then you feel her hand between your thighs. She presses her hand against your pussy through your panties, and she can feel how hot and wet you are.
 

"Mmmmm, you fucking want this, don't you, baby?" she asks you.

You smile and nod at her. She kissing neck as she slides her fingers under the waistband of your panties and to your hole. You gasp as her fingers push into your pussy, and you press down against her and moan.
 

She begins sliding her fingers slowly in and out of you, and you wrap your arms around her. "Yeah, that's good, isn't it baby?" she whispers in your ear.

"Do you want to eat my pussy, baby?" she asks you.
"Yeah Sandy, I want to eat your pussy," you say to her. She smiles at you and slides her panties down and off her legs. She immediately mounts your face and presents her pussy to your lips.

You begin to lick her pussy lips, and she grinds her pussy down against you. She moans loudly, pushing against you. You feel her hands grab yours and her fingers intertwine with your own.

She is rubbing back and forth against you as your tongue tries to find her clit. You keep licking, your tongue playing back and forth, trying to find the point that makes her moan the loudest. You feel her thighs tighten around your head and you pick up speed, focusing on the one point that is making her moan and gasp. Her fingers tighten around yours and she lets out a scream and then collapses beside you on the bed.

She slides back down beside you and kisses your lips. "I taste good," she says with a smile. You smile back at her, and close your eyes sleepily. You are just so tired and wasted...

*****

"What the fuck is going on here?" you hear shouting. You wake up to see Maria's boyfriend is home and pointing into the bedroom at you and Sandy naked in the bed.
You stagger over to James and grab him before he has the change to react. "James, unless you want us all to fucking die, we need your help!"

He looks at you. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Julio killed my father and brother, and his gang is going to come and kill us all now unless you fucking help us."

He looks at you, stunned. "Where the fuck is your shirt, though?"

You laugh at him. "I tell you that we are all in danger and you ask me why my fucking tits are out?"

He shrugs. "Why are your tits out?"

Maria laughs at him. "Just listen to her, James. She's being serious. If we don't figure out what the fuck to do fast, they are going to come and kill us."

He turns and looks at Maria. "Then what the fuck is she doing here?" He turns back to you.
"I know you have weapons. Those fuckers are going to come here to kill us. We need to all be ready," you say to James.

He looks at you. "Are you kidding? I have like forty grand in weed in this place... I can't have a battle here... my fucking boss would kill me."

You look at him. "If you don't do something now, you're going to be fucking dead. I suggest you think of something quick."
 

You notice Sandy standing behind you, and she places her hand on the small of your back as you speak.
 

He looks at you. "Alright, alright. I can't believe Maria got me into this fucking mess... I'll give you a shotgun and a couple of handguns, and you can take Maria's car, if you just get the fuck out of here right now."
"Not good enough, asshole. I need more help than that," you say to him. He looks at you and then back at Maria, who is now standing behind him with his arms folded. 

"I'm not going to fucking die for this shit..." he says to Maria and then trails off. She just looks at him, her arms folded.
 

"Alright, I know some guys who may be able to help... I'll give you the weapons, and then you need to convince them to help you. But I'm not going to be in on this shit," he says. He looks back at Maria. She's still shaking her head.

"What do you expect, baby?" he asks her.

"I'm going with her. She's my best friend. You going to come with me, or not?"

He shrugs. "Alright, I'm in. I'm in. But this better not end up with me dead for some... fuck, whatever."
"Alright, call the other guys and get them over here. We need to kill every last member of that gang, or at least the leader," you say to James.

He looks at you. "You are one crazy bitch." He is still staring at your tits. "Ummm, could you put a shirt on at least?" he asks you.
 

You laugh at him. "Yeah, alright. Maria, can you get me some more appropriate clothes? I can't be dressed like a whore in this shit. James, get on the phone to those guys and get them over here. If they want to know what their reward will be, tell them who we're hitting. There will be enough fucking coke keep an army high for a week. And they can have it."

You turn back to Sandy and smile. She gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. You grin at her and then walk back into Maria's room. Maria follows and then begins grabbing clothing out of her dresser for you and Sandy.
"How are we going to get this done? Do you have any ideas?"

They look at each other. Sandy begins, "Well, no one really knows that I am involved. If I go in there to begin with then I can probably kill some of the guys at the door... that should make it easier for us all to get in, right?"

You and Maria look at each other.
"Brilliant. That will hopefully help us get the jump on them... all those guys like white bitches."

Sandy smiles at you and gives you a quick peck on the cheek again. You can't believe that the three of you are going to do this. As you are all getting dressed you hear the back door open and some guys walk in.
 

Once you are dressed you walk out to see James sitting at the table laughing and drinking beer with two beefy looking white guys. They have leather jackets on.
 

"Heard you bitches are looking for a bit of revenge," the first man says. "We're always down for hitting soft targets, but this one seems like a tough nut to crack. James here was telling me there are at least seven hardcore gang members that hang out at their headquarters. What's going to keep me alive, and why is it worth it for me to risk my life on this?"
"What's going to keep you alive is we're going to send Sandy in first to kill their guards by pretending to be a slut. And what's in it for you is their ganghouse is filled with coke," you say to the men. They look at each other.

"How much coke?" the first one asks. You grin. You have them.

"We'll let you have all of it, and you will walk out of there ready for retirement," you respond.

James looks back at you. "They get all of it?" His eyes narrow.

"All of it," you respond.

The two men stand and they reach out to shake your hand. "Well, miss, I think we have ourselves a deal. When do we start?"
"Do you have anywhere we can go to plan? This place is likely compromised," you say to them. 

They look at each other. "We can't go to the clubhouse, but we have a warehouse near here with our weapon cache. If we want to get this done right, that's where we go."
 

You nod to them. "Wait here while I grab our weapons for the ride over," James says to them.
 

You stand there in the kitchen looking at each other. Sandy wraps her arm around yours and pulls you close. The two men grin at each other and watch closely. Sandy gives them a fierce look.
 

James returns with a couple of shotguns and two handguns and hands them to yourself, Sandy and Maria. You take one of the shotguns. The two men pat their chests where there are obvious bulges.
 
"Okay, we should stick together while driving. They might be looking for Maria's car already," you say to them.

They nod and you follow them out the back door. They have two bikes parked outback. The four of you jump into Maria's car, with you in the front seat beside Maria. James is relegated to the back, where he begins to pout. Maria looks in the rearview mirror. "Don't fucking pout!" she says to him.
 

The bikers take off and you follow them. The trip is uneventful, and you do not need any gang member's cars on the road on the way there.
 

You arrive and enter the warehouse. There are no guards, but there is a heavy lock on the door. When you get inside the bikers unlock a heavy set of doors and slide a blanket off their gun rack with a flourish. "Ma'am, what would you like to use?" Their rack is filled with automatic weapons.
"M4, please," you say sweetly. You put the shotgun down on the table and the men hand you an M4. If there is one thing you learned about your father, it was how to handle weapons.

You pull the charging handle fully to the rear, cant the weapon to the left, and look in the chamber. Empty. You let the bolt go fully forward, raise the weapon to your shoulder, and pull the trigger, letting the pin forward.
 

"Ammo?"
 

The man points to another locker, which he then opens. Loaded magazines galore. You grab a magazine, load the magazine, and charge the weapon. You place the weapon on safe and turn back to the man.
 

"Ballistic plates? Tac vest?"

He looks at you and shakes his head. "Gotta carry that shit in your pockets, little lady." You begin loading your pockets with magazines. The others choose weapons, although the rest of them do not have a very good idea what we are doing.
"Alright, let's go. Sandy, you will go in first and try to off the guards while we wait outside. You call for us and we will all rush in together."

Sandy looks at you and smiles. She has concealed two handguns in the back waistband of her pants. She still manages to look beautiful even though she is wearing pants and a t-shirt, her long, blonde hair curled around her face.
 

You smile back at her.
 

The four of you get back in the car, the bikers get on their bikes, and then you pull out of your warehouse on your way to the mechanic center and bar that is where the gang keep their coke.

"Speed and violence," you tell the rest of them in the car. "If we get bogged down, we are fucked. It's all about speed and violence."
 

James looks like he is about to shit himself.
"Buck up, James. You can learn to be a fucking man," you say to him. He looks at you and smirks. "Whatever. I'm not dying for this shit," he says to you. You laugh. "I don't plan on dying for this either," you respond.

You pull over about a block away from the mechanic shop and you all get out of the vehicles. It's broad daylight on a Saturday, but there is not a lot of traffic around. The cops don't often come to this part of town, but they certainly will when this goes down.
 

You do not have eyes on the mechanic shop from where you are, because there is a large hedge in the way. You nod to Sandy, "It's all on you now, babe. As soon as we hear shooting we will come for you," you say to her.
 

She smiles at you and blows you a kiss. "Catch you on the flipside, babe," she says.
 

She begins sauntering down the sidewalk and then turns right into the parking lot of the mechanic's shop.

You begin to question the plan in your head. You are just going to rush into a building guns blazing without knowing what's inside? You try not to let your fear show. You look over at James and Maria and they both looked scared. Even the bikers look nervous, standing beside their bikes in the open carrying assault rifles.
 

You hear shooting.
 
"Change of plans, you guys go in the front and I'll go in the back," you say. James looks at you in shock. "What the-" but the first biker grabs him by the arm and they go running towards the front of the mechanic's shop. You rush around the back and into the alley. You advance slowly, your weapon at the ready. You take the weapon off safe and approach the back door to the shop. You can hear gunfire from the front, and it sounds like a battle. 

You walk up to the back door, and it is ajar. You nudge the door with your foot and push inside. You see a long, dark hallway with doors off to each side.
You walk up to the first door and put your hand on the handle. You hear the gunfire intensify from the front of the building, but you remain calm. You open the first door, and there is no one inside the small room. 

You move to the second door, edging along the hallway. You place your hand on the door handle, and then open the door. There is a woman lying on the bed, naked, and she shrieks as you open the door. You look at her, and then at the weapon in your hand.
 

She has seen your face.
You look her in the eyes, and for a brief moment there is realization as she sees your intent to pull the trigger. You squeeze on the trigger, and one round bursts loudly from your weapon and catches her in the chest. She falls back onto the bed, clutching at her chest and gasping for air. 

You pull the trigger again, this round hitting her in the forehead, and she falls back onto the bed, silent. They will know you are back here now.

You walk over to the next door and open it. Empty. You have cleared each of the room. There is a hallway that goes to the left that you are sure must run into the rest of the building.
 

You slowly edge down the hallway, shuffling your feet and keeping them on the floor to shoot.

There is still intense shooting out front. A man bursts out from a door at the end of the hallway and goes running towards you, looking over his shoulder. He appears to be unarmed.
You don't even wait for him to look back at you before you pull the trigger. Three rounds strike him in the chest and he stops in his tracks. He looks at you, then looks down at the blood pouring from his chest. He begins staggering, still trying to stand. His bloody hands grasp inside his shirt for his weapon, and you stand there, pointing your M4 at his chest. 

He finally manages to begin fishing a pistol from beneath his shirt, and you pull the trigger again. Your round catches him in the throat and he drops to the floor, blood pouring from his neck.

You step over the body and into the doorway.

You peer around the doorway and into the next room.
 

It is the front room of their clubhouse, which is attached to the garage. There are four taking cover behind various objects and shooting at the front door and the front counter. Some people are shooting back from outside. The bodies of two men are lying at the front door.
You begin firing at the first man, who is behind a couch about twenty feet away from you. You fire seven rounds, a number of them catching him in the back, and he immediately collapses forward onto the ground. 

The other three turn to see you and begin firing back at you. You pull back from the doorway as rounds strike the wood around you.
 

Fast and aggressive my ass. You're fucking bogged down.
 
"Everyone, if you rush them right now I will pin them down. Get the fuck in the front door right now!" you call out.

You hear more gunfire from the front of the room. It sounds like they are making a rush for it. You pop out from behind your cover and begin firing at the three men. Not surprising given you called out your plan, one of the man had his weapon pointed right at the door, and begins shooting as soon as you pop your head out.

Before you can even get a shot off you are forced back into cover. You put your weapon around the corner and begin shooting, emptying a magazine at random into the room.
 

Bolt fully to the rear. Drop the magazine. Load a magazine. Hit the bolt release.
 

You hear screaming, and it sounds like James has been hit.
 
You got them into this. There is no fucking way you are going to let them die for you. You burst around the corner.

You see the man who had been shooting at you, and you watch as he pulls the trigger, his handgun aimed directly for you. You feel a round strike your left arm, but you manage to aim at him and shoot. Because you are moving, you do not hit him, but he falls back behind the couch.
 

You see James bleeding on the floor at the entrance to the doorway. You continue advancing into the room. You hear screaming. You realize it is you. You see Sandy stand up from behind the counter and begin firing at the remaining men. Her face is covered in blood and there is blood pouring from her chest. One of the man turns to fire at you, but you shoot first, catching him in the arm and sending him spinning to the floor.
 

The other man takes aim at Sandy, but one of the bikers is in the doorway and the blast from his weapon knocks the man to the ground.
 
You continue advancing and shooting, firing at the back of the couch. The man behind the couch is shooting at the open doorway, and the first biker is hit in the leg and drops to the ground. You edge around the side of the couch and the man turns to his right, trying to bring his weapon around. You open up, firing directly into the side of his head. 

Skull fragments and globs of brain matter spray hit you in the face from the backblast and for a moment you cannot see. It feels as if someone has hit you in the chest, and you fall back over into the couch, slumping down beside the man's shattered skull.

You open your eyes and watch as Julio, who had his gun pointed at you, takes a round in the side from Sandy. He falls to his side, his eyes meeting yours. Suddenly Sandy is standing over his head, her shoe on his neck.
 

"Fucking spic."

She pulls the trigger.
 

You look down to see blood pouring from a wound in your chest.
 
Sandy flops down beside you and pulls you into her arms. She looks down at the wound in your chest. You feel blood dribbling from between your lips. 

"Is everyone else alright?" you ask.

She looks at you. "James is dead. Good riddance. Maria took a round early in the fight. I think she'll be okay." She looks back over her shoulder. "One of the bikers was hit, but he's good to go. Looks like they're going for the coke right now."

You gasp, and you feel the blood bubbling up from between your lips.
 
"Just leave me. I'm going to die anyways. Get out of here before the cops get here."

She looks down at you. "There's no way I'm going to leave you here... how could I leave you here after all this?"

You shake your head. "Are you going to fucking carry me? Is Maria, if she's injured? Do you trust those fucking bikers? I'm dead, Sandy. Just leave me."
 

She's crying softly, and she begins to grab for your arm to try and pull you. You shake her hand off.
 

"I said fucking get out! Run! Now!"
 

She looks at you. She is covered in blood.
 

"Babe... I'm sorry," she says and then turns away. You watch her back as she walks out the front door.

You look around the room. There are bodies everywhere. You briefly see one of the bikers charge out the front door with a large bag over his back. At least they got the coke.
You lay there, waiting. You look over at Julio, whose dead eyes are staring at you.

"Why did you have to kill my father?" you ask him.
 

Hot tears are rolling down your face. Everything else is so cold. "You came to my fucking 12th birthday party, you asshole. My father gave you a fucking beer... and you shot him... for nothing."

His glass eyes are staring at you.
 

"And now we're both dead because of it. And my whole fucking family!"

You hear your phone ring. You slide your hand into your pants and pull out your phone. You can barely handle it because it is slippery with blood. The screen reads, "DAVE."
 

You smile and chuckle to yourself and then close your eyes. A family of survivors.
 

The End